The Truth Comes Out (Blue, Closed)

He loved her too.

No words had ever meant so much to her. She nearly sagged with relief not even realizing the kind of breath she had been holding while she waited to see if he loved her back. A more confident person might tell her that obviously he loved her back or he would have ignored the text she had sent him. That wasn't the point. Ever since Nathan had died, Neona had run, and her parents had grown distant.. Blue had this fear that she was not worth loving. Not truly, and therefore, had not really believed it until it came out of his mouth.

She was confused when he mentioned it had something to do with today. Speaking nothing, letting her furrowed brows convey everything she waited for him to get on with whatever it was that he needed to say. Fear leapt into her throat. Something big was about to happen and she had no idea what.

Was he about to propose? She doubted it, proposals didn't usually come until much after the original love confession. But, they had both nearly lost one another, perhaps he decided it was worth the risk.

Was he about to break her heart then? She was worried, and needed to get the answers to all of these questions before her mind ran away with the possibilities.

Are there secrets between us? she asked curiously as he began to talk to her. She didn't think she had kept anything from him, but then again perhaps it was inadvertantly. A lie of omission or something. Then he went on saying. 'From now on, no secrets'. Which meant there were some. Had been some. Her eyes widened. And then he mentioned he hadn't been completely honest with her.

Blue swallowed, and shifted away from him slightly. Twisting so she could see his face better. Watching him with wary and worried eyes.

What... what haven't you been honest about? she asked with a voice full of heavy worry.

What... what haven't you been honest about?

Worry painted her face and stood resolute in her eyes. She looked almost scared that what he was about to say was going to do some great harm. Ethan closed his eyes for a moment, and attempted to control his breathing.

If I hurt you...I don't mean to. Just...I can't lie to you anymore.

Let's start with this.

Ethan pulled a small data drive from his pocket. Within it was the accomplished mission for Paladin. It had taken the hacking program nearly five months to complete, but he had it.

This drive contains everything you had on your computer. All your files, prototypes, experiments, requisitions....everything. It also contains the program used to obtain the information. Do you remember hearing about when the Human forces hacked the weapon's controls for the Other's vehicles systems?

Blue looked to be in a daze, not really understanding where he was going with this...but she would in time. In stark contrast to her confusion, Ethan saw a bit of elation at the thought of not losing everything. Blue was never the 'networking secrets with New Dawn's servers' kind of girl.

This program cracked that code in seven hours. It took nearly five months with your laptop. Honestly, I forgot about it until it finished. The truth is, I was "hired" by the former Director of Security because he was bribed to do so. I am an asset for a rival company, sent to spy on your work. It was supposed to be a quick job, two weeks at most...

He wagged his finger at her, laughing softly.

...and then everything changed. You could've left me to die in that dump. But you didn't. From that moment, I knew I could never complete my mission.

He paused for a moment, letting the information sink in: he had spied on her, she changed him, he wasn't going to do what he originally intended to...he just hoped she would understand.

Blue watched as he pulled a drive out of his pocket. She fought with her mind not to hack into it immediatly. Her eyes watched him. Staring him down. He explained that it had everything that had been on her computer, within it. Her eyes widened. Betrayal stung like a slap to the face. He had hacked her. He had gone behind her back and gotten into her files somehow and put them on a disk. When she wasn't paying attention at some point. When she wasn't watching him properly.

She nodded dumbly at his question of the Humans hacking into the Others' vehicle systems. He explained that the program, the one on the hardrive had done that hacking in seven hours. But with her excellent skills it had taken five months to do it.

Five months.

Five months he had led her on, allowing her to think that he was just her bodyguard. Allowing her to believe he was falling for her. He was just biding his time. But then, they had been together nearly a year now, so.. what about the other five or so months?

He said he was hired by the former Director of Security as a bribe from a rival company. Blue's lower lip trembled slightly. Her entire world was collapsing around her. He had just told her that he loved her. Had he only done that so that he could crush her now? This betrayal stung worse than anything she swore she had felt. Perhaps because it was so fresh in her mind as it was happening right now.

He claimed that when she saved him in the dump, when she hadn't left his side, everything had changed. She clamped her teeth down on her lower lip to cause it to stop shaking as she stared at him. Her eyes shimmered with tears that she had not shed, but were waiting in the wings for the proper moment when she let them fall. She couldn't understand it.

A spy. Stealing her stuff. On purpose. Knowing what that would do to her. It was NO consilation what so EVER that it had taken five months for that stupid program to hack her files. It should have NEVER had the chance. But it did, it did because of him.

So... she whispered in a voice rough with unshed tears. All this time you.. were just spying on me.. stealing my creations... to take them back to whatever assbackward place you come from..

Blue felt like she was out of her body, watching the whole scene take place beside her somehow. Emotionally detatching herself or something. From the pain she felt was about to overwhelm her.

Her face conveyed unspeakable amounts of pain and hurt, tears unshed, as if waiting to pounce on to her cheeks. Ethan had never wanted this....never asked to hurt someone so pure, so innocent. He felt like his heart was shredded, seeing her like this.

All this time you.. were just spying on me.. stealing my creations... to take them back to whatever assbackward place you come from..

The pain in her voice, raspy from holding back emotion already, stung him deep in his soul. Ethan nearly winced at the sound, his fears coming true. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all...but he couldn't stop now.

For the first week or so? Yes. After that...I was just trying to do right by you, repay you for saving my life, staying with me in the hospital.

He sighed, knowing she would never believe him when he said this, but it was the truth.

After that, I began falling for you. Legitimately, uncontrollably falling for you Blue. I let everything of my old life out of my mind and I wanted to be everything for you. When the program sent me an email telling me it was finished, I was shocked. I had totally forgotten about it. At that point, I knew I couldn't be John Rivers anymore.

I just wanted to be yours.

For a week?

But then, he said he started to fall for her, after the dump. Her eyes looked up at him. Trying to understand it. Trying to wrap her head around all of this information that was suddenly being thrown at her. She had no idea what she was going to do. What to think about all of this. Her mind just felt absolutely fried.

But what made her head shoot up even more was when he said, he couldn't be John Rivers anymore. Her mouth opened, lips parted and she just stared at him for a few moments. Couldn't be John Rivers anymore.. which meant that he wasn't even John Rivers.

So.. you aren't even John Rivers... she bit her lower lip and using her cane she got herself up off the ground and stood there. Too angry to sit, wishing that she could pace. She started to pace. Limping around slightly striding with her cane back and forth while her mind tried to work all this out.

ANYTHING ELSE?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!? she whirled on him before she could stop herself. She glared at him. What the hell.. whatever your name ACTUALLY IS! You came into my lab, through some shadey fucking maneuvers and then you started to gain my trust, only to hack me! So that took five months, well that's bloody lovely because you had already stopped deciding to screw me over by that point but then FIVE MORE MONTHS pass the fuck by and ... WHAT? WHAT?! Huh? Why the truth NOW?! What makes this all different now?!? What the hell?!

She looked so confused, like it was too much to handle. Maybe it wasn't the right time? No. It had to be now...more time would've only made it worse. It may have made it impossible already.

But Ethan had to try...had to know.

So.. you aren't even John Rivers...

She started to get up, when she finally regarded him, he was simply shaking his head no. He tried to get up behind her, but she whirled on him too fast.

ANYTHING ELSE?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!?

Ethan fell back in to his seated position as he met her glare with a solemn look. She screamed and yelled, and while he deserved it, Ethan was thankful the park was very sparsely populated at this time of day. A crippled woman screaming at a seated man would most likely draw attention. He sat there and took it, every word, pained phrase and angry look. He deserved them all.

Huh? Why the truth NOW?! What makes this all different now?!? What the hell?!

He looked up at her, despair now slowly creeping on to his face. Things were not going as planned...it was like almost losing her to Andromeda all over again.

I....I finally got the courage to admit I loved you. That I kept that text message to remind me if I had lost you...I realized that a week ago. The other thing was that I met with my handler from Paladin the other day, and told her I was done.

She tried to kill me, and I tried to kill her right back. I won, and from that point was determined to be truthful from now on. My real name is Ethan Kelly. John Rivers was a friend who died in the war. He was in my unit, that is still technically classified. Until a week ago, I worked for Paladin, and now I don't know what to do.

He stopped her a bit, when he said he had finally gotten up the courage to admit he loved her. That was ONLY after she had said it first. not that it really mattered, she supposed that it was stupid to feel like it did right now. But at the moment she just felt like she was having a hard time understanding all of this. The entire world around her was coming down and she felt sick to her stomach. John wasn't who he said he was, his name wasn't even John and she felt like she was ready to just.. puke.

He talked about his handler, how he had killed her, because he was ready to let go of Paladin, which was apparently the company he had been stabbing her in the back for. Blue put her face in her hand. She was still listening, but, she felt like it was completely over loaded. Overwhelmed. She felt like everything had just... fallen down a dark hole. What stopped her from pacing was when he told her his real name.

Ethan, that.. that was the name of the man in your biography. The one that had died... which means, that HE died... and you stole his name...

Blue leaned against a tree, and looked upwards. Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. She felt like she was carrying the world on her shoulders. How in the hell was she supposed to believe all of this. Everything he had told her up until now was a lie. What if loving her was a lie. What if it was just another way to hack more of her shit, and find a way to sabotage everything that she stood for.

She loved him. TERRA she loved him. Her heart ached when he hurt, and she l.oved the way he came up behind her in the mornings when she waited for her coffee and just held her from behind. She loved the way he snored softly in the mornings right before he woke up and the way that he totally hogged the hot water in the shower. She loved the way that one sock NEVER EVER made it into the hamper, no matter what he tried to do. She loved the way that he 'fathered' her some times, and the ways that when he was sick he turned into a child who wanted cuddles, blankets, and popsicles.

What the HELL was she supposed to do with all this information.

Anything else? I mean, if we're going to go crazy with the truth suddenly, since lying seems to be a gift... she groaned. I hacked you! I read your files! What the HELL! I don't understand how.. how you pulled this off! I hacked you so hard, that it was ridiculous and only found John Rivers' file. Ethan Kelly was dead! I don't.. I don't understand how I failed!

She was taking it even harder than Ethan had anticipated. It was going to be difficult, but he knew that in the end, he had done the right thing. She needed to know the truth, no matter how tough it was to hear. Blue seemed confused, but it seemed like the haze was dissipating. She looked sick, and he was quick to finally rise and watch her like a hawk. If she fell, he could catch her.

Ethan, that.. that was the name of the man in your biography. The one that had died... which means, that HE died... and you stole his name...

He nodded in agreement before speaking softly. I like to think of borrowing the name. I would only hope John would take my name should the situations be reversed.

Blue leaned against a nearby tree, staring up at the sky, almost looking for an answer within the clouds and sun above.

Anything else? I mean, if we're going to go crazy with the truth suddenly, since lying seems to be a gift...

Lying isn't a gift...its taught. No one enjoys lying if they are a half way decent person. I used to think it was for the greater good...but I was wrong.

She turned on him quickly, however, her rage bubbling back up and lashing out at Ethan.

I hacked you! I read your files! What the HELL! I don't understand how.. how you pulled this off! I hacked you so hard, that it was ridiculous and only found John Rivers' file. Ethan Kelly was dead! I don't.. I don't understand how I failed!

Nodding while a smile crept over his face, Ethan replied quickly under a growling scowl on her face.

My team hacked the military records archives, weeks before I was implanted. It was to anticipate exactly that situation: you and your hacking ability. Then, they deleted all traces of their input. You didn't fail, we just...they just, anticipated you.

He couldn't keep the smile from cracking his face. She had spoken his name twice now, and it never sounded so amazing.

Lying isn't a gift, it's taught.

Oh. Because that made it SO much better. Blue didn't fight to roll her eyes this time she let them go with full force. That was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. She shoved the hand that wasn't holding her cane into her pocket. She didn't know why, she just felt like she needed something to do before she socked him in the mouth for being a complete prick.

Blue was not happy. Especially, as he looked at her and smiled. He answered her question, but it was like he was enjoying this. Like he was enjoying taking everything that she thought they stood for and crushing it under his cybernetic body. At least THAT was real! The only reason she could be sure of that was because she had worked on him several times. Her glare, told him he had better answer her question because she wasn't in the mood for his little jokes and what not.

They had anticipated she would go hunting. So they had created a fake history, and put it on and predated the records so that it looked old, even if it wasn't. Apparently 'she' hadn't failed but they were just sooooo blinking smart. Blue stood up to her full height, she didn't like that at all. It didn't matter if someone falsified the records she should have KNOWN!!! She would have known if she wasn't so blinded by a cute face and an annoying personality!

And there he was..

..smiling at her again.

I don't know about you, Rivers, but I wouldn't be smiling like an idiot if I was in the position you are.

She turned, and though it hurt to spin her body that way she didn't care. Without a single word else she began to head off. She didn't want to talk to him anymore. She was about two seconds from punching him in the face. She could do it too. She'd had the best teacher there was. Him. Not only him but her Uncle had worked with her too. Any punch from Blue would hurt. And it would feel really good to her self esteem even if she broke her hand in the process.

So to keep herself from hitting him, she walked off. Tears fell down her cheeks, she couldn't stand it. He had lied. Liked to her for almost a year... for their entire relationship. About everything! What was real? What was fake!? She had NO Idea what she was supposed to do with this little revelation. Say 'its okay! I love you anyway, lets go home and cuddle! Look it's time for pain meds and the afternoon stretches!'.

Blue's heart had been broken before. When Natha died, when Neona ran, when her parents forgot they had a third child. But this, this stung the worst .. she thought.

I don't know about you, Rivers, but I wouldn't be smiling like an idiot if I was in the position you are.

What position is that? The position where I just poured my life out to you, and I feel like you hate me worse than ever before? Or the position where I get to hear you say my name...and I like it?

Blue spun, seemingly wincing in pain, and started to walk away. He knew it wouldn't be smart to just let her walk off on her own. She still couldn't drive, and in a couple of hours, she would be a sniveling mess in the middle of the city. Who knew what would happen to her. Blue could take care of herself...when she was healthy!

Blue!? Where are you going? Are you honestly going to try to walk home? At least let me drive you home. If...

He hated to admit it, but sometimes a mission didn't work like it was supposed to, and people got hurt. Unfortunately for Ethan, the casualties were emotional...and there was collateral damage on both sides. However nasty the fight was, you made an uneasy peace to nation-build.

If you want to hate me fine, but let me just make sure you're safe. Stop being ridiculous! He stepped up to her and softly grabbed her cane arm. Niara...please.

Was she going to walk home?

Maybe.

Probably.

Or she could get far enough to hail herself a cab. But, she was not going to count on him to get her home. That was the last thing she wanted. Him doing her a kindness by taking her home when that was the last place she wanted him to be. She needed space and she needed to be alone, and if she could do neither she knew that she would go insane.

I don't.. I don't hate you. she admitted but she still continued to walk away. It was true though, she didn't hate him. She still loved him, unconditionally. She supposed this was all just too much to handle at once. He was a lie, they were a lie, he had never told her the truth, she wondered if ANYTHING he had told her was the truth and when she had been shaken down to the core she turned and fled because she knew she could not take any more.

He grabbed her arm. She looked down at the hand there, and then her eyes flickered up to him. And, that, was when he made the biggest mistake of all. Thinking that he could get to her by calling her by her actual name. Her eyes widened, and it was a fraction of a second before her hand came out of her pocket and punched him right in the face. It connected, hard, and good. Sending bolts of pain right up her hand into her wrist. She'd worry about it later.

Tears stained her face as she said these words. You.. do not get to call me that. Not here. Not now.

With that, she left. She didn't particularly care about the car right now. She walked her way to the street and hailed a cab. One stopped rather quickly and she got inside, there was nothing he could do right now. She wasn't going to let him follow her. If she had to, she would use her abilities but she did not want to do that. She just needed time to think about how everything was just gone. In the blink of an eye, everything that had been light in her life was gone. Now, he was gone,she doubted he would ever come to see her again, his job was done, her heart was broken, he might as well take her work.

What would it matter now.

He caught her eyes, they almost looked...serene for a moment. Her eyes flashed to rage before a stone block hit him straight in the center of the face. Ethan staggered back, instantly throwing his hands to his nose as blood leaked from it. The world was dizzying, and Ethan saw stars for the first time in a long time. That girl could punch!

You.. do not get to call me that. Not here. Not now.

Ethan wasn't paying all the much attention, he was trying to get a handle on the small puddle of red that was ever-expanding in the palm of his hand.

Fine. You crazy bitch.

She walked away...Ethan didn't try to stop her. If that was the way she wanted it, then fine.

See if he cared. Screw her! Forget this!

He'd be back...

[/end thread]